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Bootie Call

Last year, I stalked and then purchased what I thought was the perfect pair of booties. They were black leather with a stacked wooden chunky heel and I believed they’d go with everything. Alas, after one or two outings in my new booties – which I will not name here explicitly but the brand rhymes with “Bag and Stone” – I realized that I couldn’t walk in them. I actually brought them back to Bergdorf’s, retuning worn merchandise. I never do that, but these booties made me upset. They failed to deliver on their promise, and so I had to radically break up with them in a public place.

I boldly rode the escalator to the fifth floor shoe department and declared, loud enough so people could hear me, “Listen, I wore these, several times. I’m not gonna lie. But I can’t stand them, so please please won’t you take them back?” I definitely got the hairy eyeball and the once over from the salesman, but he looked at the shoes, picked up the black store phone, and punched in some secret code. Next he mumbled something to someone on the other end of the line, but I held my head high. Before you could say bibbity bobbety boo, I had a gift-carded refund.

Logic would tell you that I used that money to buy a new pair of booties, but there is no logic when it comes to shopping.

Plus, it was Black Friday,and on Black Friday, you go for the deals on beautiful things that call out your name, not the things you may actually need. Also, there are no deals to be had on booties at the end of November because all the smart, fashion-forward-thinking women purchase the cutest booties in September. *

(*Except for the Extremists who buy them in August. Trust me: I know some of these ladies.)

So I bought a coat.

Now, here I am, a year later, stressing out (mildly, people, not like really) over booties. I want to get it right. Continue reading here.


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